I miss my blog so much that I’m now writing without plans, which is so not me. Every post is always carefully planned and mind-mapped, like a school kid writing for his examination essay.
As I’m writing, I muse, “What happened in life that I strayed away from writing?” Oh now I realize! I’ve become so active in Toastmasters that I speak a lot. Thus speaking has become a new way of silencing my buzzing mind, instead of writing them all down in here.
Or is it because I’ve become too comfortable with my life lately that I find no joy in writing anymore? The word comfortable made me uncomfortable. Unlike lazy, where the doer realized his deliberate inaction or procrastination, comfortable is another form of lazy where the doer is unaware. If I’m actually comfortable, I should be unaware, thus I’m scared of this person that I’ve become.
I realized lately that I’m not amused with books as much as I used to be. I used to be able to read my favorite books all night long. Nowadays, I fell asleep after only a few pages. I even tried changing genre of book I’m reading to no avail. In fact, not many things excite me the way I used to be. Is this a part of growing up? Or growing old, as a matter of fact? Because now, I don’t like it at all.
But there’s one thing I can do. I can enumerate the many, many happy things that happened in life lately. Jamie gave birth to three beautiful kittens in February. I won a bicycle in a lucky draw in April. I participated in One Day One Juzuk (an online community where you finish a juzuk of al-Quran per day among 30 groups of people who motivate each other and achieve khatam everyday) since February and I’ve never seen Allah’s word more beautiful than now. And now is the month of Ramadhan – the most beautiful month in Hijri calendar and I’m living through the first 6 days of it.
SubhanALLAH. Life is so beautiful it voids all our complaints and whines. We just have to pause and look closer at all of those beautiful things around us.