Heart: Today is the final day.
Brain: I am well aware of that.
Heart: Have we found something?
Brain: We are still looking.
Heart: Are we closer to the solution?
Brain: I don’t know.
Heart: Can we define the problem, at least?
Brain: I believe we can’t.
Heart: Then what’s the point in reaching this mark?
Brain: It has always been about to keep going on. We succeeded. We are still doing it. We will succeed. InsyaAllah.
Brain: We got one thing done.
Heart: What’s the point?
Brain: One more step towards success.
Heart: Another step will add in front.
Brain: We got through this one.
Heart: Nothing much.
Brain: I am trying to be optimistic here.
Heart: Are you accusing me of being pesimistic now?
Heart: I woke up full of motivation today! Let’s make our to-do list.
Brain: I won’t fall for your act again.
Heart: Not acting! Told the truth! I am SO motivated! Let’s roll!
Brain: Wait till that energy drains later.
Heart: I don’t care what you think of me. Let’s get things done now.
Brain: Might as well do something while you’re fine.
Brain: We won again.
Heart: Yes. I know.
Brain: You don’t seem happy, why?
Heart: Don’t start on one of your you-should-be-grateful lecture again.
Brain: Ok, I won’t. But still, answer me. Why?
Heart: I don’t feel anything. Just numbness.
Brain: Look. They are so happy for you.
Heart: I feel that what I said or did were fake.
Brain: But you are not lying, are you? You are just trying hard to be okay. That’s good.
Heart: And tiring. Exhausting, actually.
Brain: There are people who envy this medal, you know.
Heart: I know. I just don’t feel. That’s all.
Life is a mess
The organizer in me can’t digest
So I keep it tight inside
In the hope that noone can see from outside
But I have friends who aren’t blind
And a family so kind
For they are willing to stand by me
While I am cleaning this mess that is me
Brain: They said that we don’t deserve to feel a certain way.
Heart: And we should stay calm.
Brain: They said that we don’t deserve to feel sad.
Heart: And always smile.
Brain: They said that we don’t deserve to feel angry.
Heart: Because our feelings waste their time.
Brain: We thought that if we don’t react to these feelings, everything would turn out fine.
Heart: It seems that when we seem fine, they don’t believe we have feelings.
Brain: So let’s just do this on our own.
Heart: Thus we won’t waste their time anymore.
Brain: Keep acting.
Heart: We are good at that.
Brain: Sounds like a good plan.
Heart: On it now.
Heart: Talk to me.
Heart: You’re okay. Talk to me.
Heart: Do not turn your back on me.
Heart: Can you stop this silent treatment now?
Heart: Fine. Even you decide to do this to me now.
Heart: How could you?
Heart: Morning… (yawn)
Brain: Let’s start the day with a fresh lemonade and complete all entries in our to-do list by noon! I am feeling energetic.
Heart: Nah… Let’s continue sleeping. I am exhausted.
Brain: You’re an evil creature, aren’t you?
Heart: Maybe this isn’t meant to be solved.
Brain: What do you mean?
Heart: I mean, we don’t need to make it vanish.
Heart: You know, like space.
Brain: We’ve always love space. What about it?
Heart: Most of it is vacuum. Like the void we’re having now.
Brain: Yes, this feeling of voidness.
Heart: And then there are stars and other beautiful things in space.
Brain: Yes. Never fail to mesmerize us.
Heart: We just have to hop on from star to star, from planet to planet, from one beautiful thing to another beautiful thing.
Brain: That sounds like a plan.
Heart: While hopping, we have to go through the vacuum, but we don’t have to linger till we plant our feet firmly on the next solid ground.
Brain: Yes, we have to bear that in mind.
Heart: We’ll try our best to avoid black holes. They’re mysterious, maybe dangerous.
Brain: Ok, will do.
Heart: We must prepare ourselves with everything we need we when go hopping to help pull us to our next destination – good friends, motivational books, Holy Quran, night prayers, coffee, movies, exercises and many more.
Brain: Okay! Let’s do this!
Heart: To the questions we don’t find the answers, what do we do with them?
Brain: ‘Haven’t’, not ‘don’t’.
Brain: We keep looking for the answers.
Heart: What if we won’t find the answer.
Brain: We keep looking.
Heart: What if…
Brain: We keep looking! Keep looking till you stop beating.
Brain: Could you please get out of my way?
Brain: Just get out of my way. Please.
Brain: Just one day. Please. Get out of my way for JUST one day.
Heart: What did I do wrong?
Brain: Let me be in control for just one day.
Heart: Okay, okay. Sorry. I still don’t know what I did wrong.
Brain: We still remember the face of that old man sweeping the street at traffic light last week.
Heart: Yes, we do.
Brain: We still remember that three ringgits we borrowed from a friend who we lost contact with a few years back.
Heart: Yes, we do.
Brain: We still remember the look on that man’s face when he got out of the car after we smacked his car which happen last year.
Heart: Yes, we do.
Brain: And those few other things…
Heart: Yes, we always remember.
Brain: They tell us “Don’t think too much”.
Heart: We don’t know how, I know that.
Heart: Don’t look. Don’t notice. Don’t feel.
Heart: Let’s just give up.
Brain: Not yet.
Brain: We wrote our Golden List.
Heart: Yes, we did.
Brain: We list our achievements daily.
Heart: Every single day.
Brain: We pray five times a day.
Heart: Praises to Allah, we do.
Brain: We help people.
Heart: We try our best to be selfless.
Brain: We practice yoga.
Heart: It makes us feel good.
Brain: We control what we eat.
Brain: Then, why does it still feels unsettling?
Heart: I don’t know.
Brain: One day we’re going to travel to Europe.
Brain: We are going to Mecca.
Heart: That is already in our list.
Brain: On our birthday, we are going to spend money for orphans.
Heart: We have got that planned out since last year.
Brain: We are going to write an inspirational book.
Heart: Definitely got that in plan.
Brain: What else?
Heart: What happened to all the undone, forgotten plans?
Brain: I am getting worse with everything.
Brain: I can’t divide numbers.
Brain: I forgot multiplication tables.
Brain: I forgot my usual routes.
Heart: That’s disturbing.
Brain: I forgot many things. Slow. Probably dumber.
Heart: What do we do?
Brain: I don’t know what to do.
Heart: We’ll find a way somehow.
Brain: Maybe I am rotting.
Heart: Please don’t say that.
Brain: Maybe if we sleep longer, it’ll slow down the rot.
Heart: We’ll find a way.
Brain: *buzzing with voices and ideas*
Heart: Could you please shut up so I can calm down?
Brain: *long silence*
Heart: You know what? I changed my mind.
Heart: I changed my mind. Keep talking.
Brain: Why? Thought you want quiet?
Heart: It’s eerie when you’re quiet.
Heart: I feel guilty…
Brain: About what?
Heart: I can’t see their happiness.
Heart: It makes me envious.
Heart: I don’t know.
Brain: That’s tough.
Heart: I am suppose to be happy about other people’s happiness.
Brain: What do we do now?
Heart: Let’s stay in the shadow till this feeling subside.
Brain: Well, that’s not a solution, but it’ll do for now.
Heart: I wish we’re cats.
Brain: Why cats?
Heart: We wouldn’t have to work. We can sleep 13 hours a day.
Brain: You know what other things that cats are good at?
Brain: They don’t need us. They stay because they want us.
Brain: They’re relax cause they know whether we’re here or not, their life is taken care by God Almighty.
Heart: Not us?
Brain: Not us. We’re the mediator.
Heart: We’re the mediator, not the source.
Brain: Let’s relax like a cat, knowing that we’re taken care of.
Heart: Don’t you feel that this is attenting-getting?
Heart: This whole writing thing.
Brain: How is this attention-getting?
Heart: Everybody reads.
Brain: Let them.
Heart: You write too much.
Brain: It’s a positive self-expression, I feel.
Heart: Why do we have to do this?
Brain: Sense of achievement.
Brain: We don’t even need people to read them to feel that sense of achievement.
Heart: Yes. True.
Brain: Just thirty days and we’ll be done.